I’m allergic to weed

In case of emergency, here’s a list of my allergies: 

Benadryl (I know) 

Pecans 

Weed

I found out that I was allergic to weed when I was 17 and took CBD oil one night to help me sleep. I almost made myself sleep forever. When the doctor told me to “stay away from anything cannabis related or you’ll drop dead” (I’m barely exaggerating btw) I was devastated. I never even got a chance to smoke weed!

Up until that gloomy day, I had abstained from smoking or trying any recreational substances for two reasons:

1. I have my own health problems and I pick my battles.
2. I have a Mexican mother

Ultimately, it was a good thing that I found out the way I did. If I hadn’t died from an allergic reaction to smoking weed in high school, my mother would have certainly finished the job. 

This reality of mine means that I have spent every day of my life [painfully] sober. Since I know no alternative, I often question the purpose of marijuana altogether. Not the medicinal kind, the recreational kind. 

From an outside perspective, the experience of a cannabinoid high sounds like a sauna where your body is relaxed and your brain is pondering metaphysics. Also it makes you hungry. 

Or it gives you crippling anxiety? 

To compare the characteristics of my sobriety to those of the high, I only need to exclude the sauna part (gag) from the list. I do yoga to relax, I get hungry, I have pondered the human experience since the moment I gained consciousness, and I sometimes (often) have crippling anxiety. 

Some might say that it’s not the same, but can any DIY be considered the same as the original? My slime never was, that’s for sure. 

Being sober is awesome when you’re funny and hot. You should try it sometime because you’re funny and hot! You can’t be addicted, just dependent! — Or whatever the frat boys say.  

-xoxo, Mo